When characters take over

When I first came up with the idea of the Stowaways so many moons ago, I'd originally envisioned them around the same age: seventeen or eighteen, each almost ready to enter service in the Imperium. But, the more I've been writing actual dialogue for them, the more I've started to see Tych (the pilot) as being closer to thirteen or fourteen. The rest - Lelie, Stoll, and Imien - are still older, but Tych is coming across as more of a know-it-all, one not so affected by the world around him, yet. That strikes me as him being a younger character, for some reason.

I like this change for him. I think it could help better define his motivations for being with the group, and why he ends up making the other choices he does (in the outline I've already plotted).

NaNo 2012 has begun!

I've decided to set down my drafting/editing pen for Fearless and take a breather, to participate in this year's National Novel Writing Month!

I have no idea if this year's characters and their story - "Anywhere But Here" - will grab me to even a sliver of the extent that Ross and Amber did, but I've got a decent outline going, and I hope to at least finish the story of my stowaways.

Since I also don't know how active this blog will be during my sojourn in NaNoLand, you can keep a keener eye on my progress at the NaNo site.

If you'd like to see snippets of my draft here, let me know in the comments section!

Fearless [Arc II]: Day 65 - I fear for this

The deeper I get into writing this novel (Fearless, that is), the more I wonder whether I can really call this thing a "romance novel."

I think that the drama of human relationships is what I do best in my writing. At least, it's what I enjoy the most when I write. Of course, I have fun with humour and description and word-play (perhaps too much, at times), but what really resonates with me in stories are the connections that occur between people. Many of these connections deal with love and sexuality, because they're adults, and because it's what I've found fascinating in my own adult relationships...not to mention, it can be just plain titillating to read (and write!) that stuff. But then I read something that made me rethink myself.

"The Red Pen of Doom" by @speechwriterguy is a fine weblog about writing in general, whether it's journalistic, fiction, or typing in a blog. I genuinely recommend it, because it approaches the craft of writing with honesty and humour...which you need in spades in this game. (It's far more entertaining than most of our ramblings or even finer works, certainly more informative than this place I use to get down ideas in the middle of the early morning.)

Anyway, one of the articles at "The Red Pen of Doom" has to do with romance novels. It's a funny, witty piece about how they are, in actuality, a love song to the male of the species. Go and read it here; I'll wait. And read the comments, too, because that's what's driven me to post this.

Now that you've got that little pearl of wisdom about what romance novels are really about, and what romance novelists think of their own genre, let me get back to my dilemma.

Since the beginning - since I first imagined that moment when Ross is sitting on the beach and looking out over the water he trusts more than anything, promising himself that no woman is worth the heartbreak he's suffered at the hands of the last two...but then, of course, falls for pretty little Amber, who nearly breaks his heart in another way - I've called Fearless a romance novel. But, now, after reading that article and those comments, I'm just not certain I can count this story among that number.

Like the stories I've always enjoyed, Ross's story is about love, and lust, and learning, and strength of heart and purpose, and finding the wherewithal within oneself to be better, not for any reason save for the sake of the person you love. It has romantic elements, yes (and plenty of them, both tender and smuffy), and the hero gets to become, over the course of the story, a real hero. Not quite the kilt-wearing, sword-swinging kind, but the kind who's willing to stay when things get ugly, and to fight, too, when fighting means not giving up.

But is it a romance story? I just don't know any longer.

It is still the story that I want to tell. It is still the beautiful bit of heartache that I want to share, not only to show my friends that I can write more than the terrible werewolf porn I wrote as an angsty university student, but because these people mean something to me. Because they're a part of me, I guess. I don't need to write novels for a living or go on talk shows to discuss the origins of my ideas or any of that. I just want this one story to share; I want this one story to be good. After that, I'll happily go back to playing in the pond of Doctor Who fan fiction or whatever.

But I do want this story out there. And now, I don't know where it should go. If you have any insight, please let me know? (And, before you ask: No, I won't put a sword in Ross's hand. That's for another story.)

Fearless [Arc II]: Day 62 - Measuring up

I've kind of given up on the word-counter measurement in a public forum, since I'm so far behind (at about 112K as I write this). I still think that I can probably wrap up the story proper by 150K, though. And I am tracking how many words I write per day, since that seems to help me stay on-track with the whole thing.

But that's not what I came to talk about. This is what I came to talk about:

I can't believe that I'm still obsessing over hit statistics.

:/

Yes, even after the craziness that hit statistics caused for my life during my writing of 1 More Chance!, I'm still caught up in the stupid things. It doesn't even really measure anything, except that someone happens to click into a particular chapter of the story. It doesn't mean that they read that chapter, or were moved by it, or have anything to say about it (because they're not leaving me feedback). They could have even just stumbled upon some random link somewhere and clicked through because they were curious or clumsy.

Yet, even though they mean fuck-all, I'm still checking those idiotic click-logs.

I think because I was never very popular, and I'm under the mistaken impression that popularity makes my story better...when I know Goddamn well that many popular stories are really, really terrible and some of them even have mediocre writing (hello, Twilight!), and just because lots of people look at it or leave lots of reviews, it doesn't necessarily mean that the story is any good. It just means that it's getting attention, for one reason or another. Maybe because of the title. Maybe because of the summary. Maybe because it's shouting, "M/M SLASH! YAOI! LEAVE REVEIWS [sic] PLEEZE!" right there on the front page.

And I've always said that I would much rather have only one person read my story and genuinely enjoy it and give me thoughtful feedback on it (because that shows that you've actually read the damn thing), than a hundred people who just glance through and not really give a shit (or give one of those frankly pointless reviews that say only, "Write more soon!").

But still here I stand, in the middle of my storm, waiting for someone to say something. And for what? For what, really? I really should just get back to work, and forget about the masses, and do what I'm always telling other people to do: to pull yourself up by your boot straps and hop back up into your saddle and silence every naysayer and just fucking write. Because that's all I can really do, at the end of the day, no matter what the masses want or demand or whine about.

It's just what I do.

Read Fearless, Chapter 1

For anyone interested, the teaser and first chapter for Fearless is up at FictionPress.com:
http://bit.ly/xLkciF
I've enabled anonymous reviews for this particular story, since not everyone out there probably has an account with FictionPress (even though it's free), and it would be great to get some feedback.

I'm not certain how many chapters I'll be posting, since the story is still in a draft phase, but since a few people expressed interest, I thought I would at least give them the chance.

I'm not expecting a lot of response, though. First, because it's difficult to grab a reader with a 250-character summary for a story that is already over 110,000 words long. Second, because...well, because I've realised that talk is cheap, and even if someone says they support me and they'll read my stuff, I have yet to find any actual person who lives up to their words. (Cue cynicism; I'm more like Ross than I sometimes like to admit.)

Anyhow, the first chapter is available to read, so at least I have someplace I can send anyone who claims to be a supporter.

Fearless [Arc II] Day 55 (What Happens Next?)

Looking for some help, here, folks. Now, I know this excerpt is from a work in progress, and this likely doesn't give you a very good idea of what's really going on (but don't worry; I've got that covered). But since it is still a first draft, what I'm asking for here is your recommendation if the scene should just end here, or if it's worth it for me to go into more specific detail of what comes next.

Slipping his hand around the base of her head, he took gentle hold of her and drew her face close, pushing himself half the distance between them, so that they met in a deep and longing kiss. She pressed up against him, too, winding her arms around him as that kiss swiftly grew beyond one of lips alone, to include tongues and breath and hands and very soon bodies, as well, moving together in matching rhythm. 

Acutely aware of their limited privacy, they traded their kisses quietly, though there was no trade of passion for silence. If anything, the effort of their subterfuge made them both more heated, turning them almost feverish with desire; where she drew her tongue from his shoulder to just below his jaw was like the stroke of a cool cloth over sunburn. So he returned the favour, with a wet, licking kiss along her neck, that made her pull a full breath over his ear.

He craned his mouth to her ear then, as he slipped his hand over the pliant mound of her breast. “I love you,” he told her in a breezy breath, squeezing her tenderly in his palm.

She echoed him in voice and action, whispering the same words just as he'd done, her mouth tilted so close to his ear that her tongue flitted between hollow and helix with each syllable. Then, hooking her hand behind his head, she brought his mouth back to hers, shushing the wish he wanted to make with another kiss. They broke from each other with a tilt of his head, though, and it was then that he whispered aloud, for the first time in too long, into her mouth:

“I want you.”

She pulled back from him and gave a quiet sigh, her breath so close and warm that it made the bow of his lip bead with sweat. And then she began to chuckle. “You have terrible timing, Mister Finch,” she told him in a hushed murmur, the stutter of her voice something between a laugh and a sob.

Ross dropped his head and rubbed his cheek against hers; the sound of his faint, unshaven stubble against her skin was louder than his lamenting reply. “I know,” he said. But then he tilted his chin and kissed her lips again, still wanting.

Amber didn't protest against this; her mouth clutched to his for not just one or two but a string of kisses, all of them almost soundless yet still equal to his desire. After a few moments, she pulled away again to speak: “Venus is right in the next room...!” she said, as though in warning.

“I know,” he whispered again, and then he pressed his mouth to hers once more, full of aching feeling. And while he knew that it would be more responsible and more prudent and more sensitive to tell her that the time wasn't right, that they should just get to sleep, that they could wait until the morning when Venus was gone to satisfy their renewed affections, he didn't say any of those things. Rather, he smiled as he let his lips unclasp gently from hers, and told her:

“It just means we have to be quiet.”

Her eyes seemed to flutter open just as he looked at her, and the tiny twinkling he saw in them now wasn't scared, or admonishing, or even hesitant, just a bit embarrassed. “You'll have to help me,” she said, and he nodded and smiled again. Then she gave a single low cough of a giggle. “And be very quiet,” she added, and at that, he had to grin.

“I will be whatever you need me to be,” he said, and in reply, she grinned, too, pulling herself against him with her hands as they met for a new kiss that would bring them both to bloom.

So, let me know:
Do you like what you've read?
Do you want to read more?
Do you think this is enough?
Or should I just go back to writing fan fiction?

...Though I'd appreciate it if you didn't just grab the claw hammer and start bashing.

Thanks!

Fearless [Arc II] Day 53 (Sharing)

I am vacillating whether or not to share parts of this story in progress. I already have some excerpts on this blog, of course, but they're more draft-y, and they don't really tell much of the story. What I'm considering is posting the first (mostly-complete) chapter somewhere. I had a brief conversation about it with a reader of my fan fiction, who suggested it might help drum up interest...but I'm so far from the publishing stage, right now. Would it be misleading to start posting chapters and whatnot now? Or would it, as he says, build excitement for the finished product? I think I'm probably over-thinking this. I'm also likely being super-optimistic that anyone is going to want to read this at all, when I'm ready to send it for publishing. Still, it's something to consider, I suppose. Right now, I'm in a section of the story that I'm hoping is fulfilling from both a romantic and a realistic perspective. Not a lot of people think of "romance" in the same way that I do (read: with a healthy dose of sex), but, like 1 More Chance! was, this story is for myself, first. And a big part of Ross's identity has to do with his highly sexual nature. So, that's the way the story goes. And besides, I like it.